movin' out

Sorry, Blogger, but I need to end this. I've found someone better... Tumblr. Tumblr just gets me. It lets me post anything - text, music, video, photos - all so seamlessly. But don't despair - you'll always have a special place in my heart.

Again, I'm sorry it had to come to this. It's not you, it's me. I hope we can still be friends.

That being said, I'm moving over to flipchinaboy.tumblr.com. Ciao!

Procrastinating while fasting

Someone once told me that if you're going to fast, you have to pray. Otherwise, you're not fasting; you're just not eating.

I agree with this idea. However, oftentimes when fasting I forget that I agree, and I find myself doing a lot of the not eating and not a whole lot of the fasting... until I'm about to break my fast. Then it's a mad dash to make sure I've prayed enough for the thing I was fasting about, plus a bunch of random prayers for anything that manages to pop into my head in those final seconds.

So I've fasted for the day, prayed multiple times throughout the day, felt real chill with God and stuff, even though half the prayers went a little like, "I'm hungry. That bacon-encrusted donut looks even more awesome than usual, but I'm gonna resist it for You, God! For YOU!" Then, looking at the breakfast meal, the typical minute-to-win-it pre-meal prayer becomes a ten-minute, stream of consciousness, should-have-been-doing-this-all-day intercession. And usually, I'll raise the food to my mouth, then think, "Hold up, forgot a few more things. Better pray it up now, cause everyone knows prayer is more effective on an empty stomach."

Anyone else experience this? Anyone else cram while fasting?

Also, what constitutes appropriate break-fast food? Aside from health concerns, I mean. A big fat rib-eye steak from Outback right after three days of starvation (ahem, fasting) is pretty obviously a bad idea.

But in terms of the type of food, what's appropriate? Somehow I feel like ending a fast by breaking open a bag of Dorito's is not okay. Can you imagine Jesus coming back from his 40 days in the wilderness and popping open a can of Pringles? Now that I think of it, I wonder what he ate to break his fast. I'm not sure it's chronicled in the New Testament. Having a model would make choosing break-fast food much easier...

So, I'll take it upon myself to list the best and worst foods for breaking a fast! Stay tuned! Or don't. Razzle dazzle!

cry for you

i feel so lost. will you help me find my way again? going with the flow isn't working. i need my anchor back.

i'm sorry i've neglected you. i'm sorry i've been too content to simply show up once a week, write my check every other week, and leave. i'm sorry i've become so used to being lost that i didn't want to be found.

i'm ready now. will you lead me out of the dark?

limited time

Realized something about myself today. I don't have much of a backbone a lot of the time. If others dabble in moral gray areas, I may follow. That needs to change. What's right is right, what's wrong is wrong. I know that, but that needs to translate into action.

That's actually off-topic. The topic at hand... the more I give it thought, the more I know that I can't stay working much longer. It's not that there's anything bad about my job; it's really a pretty good job - I get paid, I get decent benefits, I like the people I work with, and I'm learning a lot. But the more I think about where my life is and all, the more restless I get. Don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining - my life is pretty good right now. But if I sit still too much longer, I'll go crazy.

CPA is the last frontier for me. One more part, and all bets are off as to what's next. I pray that God shows up to give me some direction, because with or without it, I'm gonna leap.

Philippines, part 1

A lot has happened since my last update, which is understandable since that was a good two months and change ago. I'll use this entry to update about my trip to the Philippines. At least part of it, anyway.

I went to the Philippines on Thanksgiving Day with my grandma, flying through Japan. As always, it was very exciting to be on the plane heading there. Flew into Manila as usual, stayed with mom's relatives for a night with grandma, then flew to Tacloban with her the next day, where we got picked up by Uncle Alvin & Aunt Benjie, who brought us to their home in Catbalogan, where I stayed for the next few days.

Staying in Catbalogan, the town my dad is from, was pretty interesting this time around. Before this trip, I'd stayed there before with grandma and family, but never by myself. We arrived on Saturday, so Uncle Alvin's kids were home. That night, I had fun hanging out with the kids - we played games together, and I played guitar with Isabel (the oldest) for a good few hours. Good times. They stayed in Catbalogan for the next two days since Monday was a holiday (they live in Tacloban during the week for school).

Every day I was there, I woke up pretty early, thanks to jetlag, and so I would spend mornings with grandma. We would have breakfast, head over to the Shell station (owned by Uncle Alvin), and then go buy food for the day, usually riding an Isuzu Elf transport truck. I remember going to the wet market, which was a bit dirty and smelly (she remembers that upon arriving there, I asked her if I could wash my feet), and also down to one of the fishing beaches, where they gather and organize the morning's catch.

These morning excursions also included a visit to my grandfather's grave, running some errands around town, and an attempted visit to my great-aunt, who turned out not to be around. And while in the car, in a tricycle, or just walking together, grandma and I had a lot of time to talk, and talk we did. I really got to know her better, and for that reason I'm kind of glad I was staying there by myself. If other relatives were there too, I may not have gotten to talk to grandma as much as I did. Something else I realized was that there are points over which my dad and grandma don't exactly agree, and that's okay. I also saw that my opinions in some things differ from hers a bit as well.

After coming back from the market or the fishing beach with grandma, the kids were usually awake by then, so I would spend time hanging out with them. The times I'd been with them before, we never connected a great deal because of language barrier and because they were more kid-like. But this time, we hit it off really well, and I missed them a lot when they went to Tacloban on Tuesday, even though I would be joining them the next day.

Tuesday and Wednesday, I got to spend more time with Uncle Alvin and Aunt Benjie. During this time, I realized that even though what they do may be pretty commonplace in their own eyes, I was very interested in their daily activities and how they operate their business. I don't have any plans to move to the Philippines, but I think I'd learn a lot if I went and helped them out with their business. Overall, it was really good spending time with them, and I missed them heading off to Tacloban on Wednesday, since I didn't know if I'd see them again.

Now ever since I got to the Philippines with grandma, she'd been mentioning to me that the family in Tacloban wanted to introduce me to someone there. That's where I'll start next time.

Been writing a while, and I need to get back to studying. And tomorrow, back to the grind. Anyone who's reading, enjoy your week!

lost my lunch

as I was heating up my lunch today in the kitchen at the office, I noticed that the container looked a bit different from the ones I typically bring from home. I opened it up expecting to find leftovers that I knew my mom had cooked the other day, but instead found a meal that looked unfamiliar, albeit appetizing.

since the food and the container and the saran wrap were all relatively similar to what I would have expected, and after all, I knew I had taken it from the fridge in my house, I figured:

• my mom packed me lunch from some secret stash of tasty food she didn't tell me about
  
• this different-looking container was probably at home the whole time; I just never noticed it before
• I've already opened it, it'll look weird if I suddenly pack it up and put it back, and it's lunch time and I'm hungry
  

so I ate it. and it was really good... but altogether nothing I'd ever eaten at home or brought to work from home before (aside from rice). there was pork that had been pan-fried with some batter on the outside... like tonkatsu. and a smattering of Chinese vegetables, but they didn't douse the rice with watered-down oyster sauce like the home-cooked variety often does.

after thoroughly enjoying lunch, I called my mom, who had taken the day off, to ask 1) when did she make this food without me noticing and 2) why she'd been holding out on me. she picked up, but instead of "hello," she greeted me with "that wasn't my lunch."

she brought lunch to work yesterday but ended up not eating it, so she brought it home and put it in the fridge.... or so she thought. turns out she brought home her boss's lunch and left hers (I guess her boss didn't eat his lunch either yesterday). her boss had called her to ask about this just before I called to express my appreciation. he ate her lunch and called it even, though. but his lunch was bangin' so I think I win.

in other news, I think the bathroom clean-up crew at work is on vacation. for the last two days, that place has smelled disgusting. not like a bad case of leftovers for lunch... just like people been aiming badly.

great weekend

I visited my cousin Katrina, her husband Paul, and their cute daughter Anna this weekend in State College, PA. Also met up with an old friend from back in the day Fords who's now getting her PhD. at Penn State. Overall a really fun time.

I drove over with two others - one a friend from college with whom I'd planned this trip weeks before, and one an acquaintance from work who asked if she could join us the night before. We set out rather late, and stopped for dinner at Cracker Barrel.

Our waitress was very nice... maybe too nice. She came to check on us relatively early on; so early, in fact, that we only had water at the time. So because she stopped at our table looking like she was gonna say something, she had to say something, but since we had only water, that's all she could ask about, so she asked us how our water was. And unfortunately, that made the rest of the night's interactions with her sort of awkward. I tipped her pretty well, though. A for effort!

My niece Anna is so cute, and so smart! At one point, we were at a park, and her parents got on a balance beam and were trying to push each other off. I was carrying her, and before long she started crying hard. She's only just turned one, but she understands what's going on. I think that's just amazing.

Good times. Great weekend. Tomorrow I start my new full-time position at work. Well, actually I'll be in training. But my salary will be bigger :)